The Death of the Internet

Watch this video. I think this is a really important issue for anyone who values the first ammendment.

COAnews

Major telecommunications companies are spending millions lobbying the U.S. congress to make the Internet into a private network. In political lingo this mean abandoning what is called "Net Neutrality". In common sense terms it's about the government withdrawing our right to Internet Freedom. This V-Doc. (viral documentary) is about the current threat to Internet Freedom and how we can hold on to the open Internet and our right to communicate.

The only way the telecommunications companies will be successful is if we fail to raise awareness about this situation. If people find out about the fact that we are about to lose our Internet freedom there is no way they will allow congress to do this.

This congressional decision will set a monumental precedent, and thus, impact not just U.S. citizens, but citizens all over world.

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And then this:



I don't quite understand what all of this implies except that it will give individuals less of a voice. The wonderful disagreements, decention, dialogue and arguments that help edify us all will essential cease or at the very least slow to a crawl. Basically the individuality and freedom that we have to use the internet and share information will be lost if we continue to let big businesses throw their weight around. Sign petitions, call Representatives, find out more about it. I think this issue is huge and I'm kind of sad that I've only heard about this over the last couple of weeks.

This War

On September 11, like everyone else I was concerned and hurt by all the people that lost their lives. My first reaction, however was pretty skeptical. I guess you could say that I took a pessimistic stance. I didn't think that the event would pull us together as a country, yet on the contrary I was afraid that the reactionary people in power and the masses were going to call for a mass retaliation and that anger would overpower rational thinking. I was afraid that Muslims and those from Middle-Eastern countries would suffer a backlash of racial profiling and discrimination unnecessarily. For the most part I was fairly pleased to see that, in the first months after the attacks Americans responded with reasonable and united actions at those who appeared to truly be the responsible ones. I had been hearing of the atrocities committed by the Taliban in Afghanistan for sometime and was happy to see that the American government was going to do something about it, even though it took the loss of 3000 Americans to get them to pay attention.

I was shocked then, to find out in the early part of 2003 that the Bush administration had set it's sites on Iraq of all countries. It was such an about face in terms of focus that began wondering if we were even pursuing Bin Laden anymore. I still kind of wonder that. I didn't understand the fascination with taking down Saddam Hussein. Sure, he was a horrible dictator. Sure, he had committed atrocities against his own people and had invaded Kuwait in the early 1990s. This was a horrible leader who we could certainly do without. What I didn't understand was why, now when we were still trying to bring the perpetrators of the 9/11 attacks, were we all of a sudden turning our attention to Saddam. Well, apparently they had Weapons of Mass Destruction. This term has become so incredibly mundane that it doesn't really mean anything anymore. Basically, Iraq had nukes and or biological weapons. But you know that. You know that because Colin Powell showed the whole world at the U.N. in those aerial photos indicating the mobile weapons labs. Rumsfeld told us he knew where they were. He told us exactly their location (a fact he has recently denied.) I never saw it, but who am I? My whole opinion at this time was I hope they know what they're doing, because I don't get it. I didn't feel threatened by Hussein, I didn't feel like we had a strong case for war, and I didn't see why we were all of a sudden bringing out this old issue of Iraq. It's as if we were the jock at the 10 year high school reunion that decided we needed to beat up on the nerd one last time. And this time he was really going to it. This time, he would never get to do science experiments ever again. Of course, this time he was weaker and less prepared and we were stronger and fortified with even better arms. Am I still talking about the Jock/Nerd scenario?

Anyway, the point was that I didn't get it. I even remarked to a co-worker once that I hoped they found WMDs because then we wouldn't seem like idiots to the rest of the world and ruin our good relationships with the countries that opposed our being there. Even if we really thought that Iraq was a threat, which I doubt, why would we risk international good will. If we truly believed what we were trying to spin I think we could have eventually convinced the rest of the world. I also didn't get the American's blind lemming-like behavior during this time. I sort of expected the Republicans to be excited about a regime takeover. Oil, a new market to inundate with Coca-cola and McDonald's restaurants, contracts, contracts, contracts. Couldn't we all see Dick Cheney's mouth watering. I was mostly disappointed, as I often am, with the Democrats, as well as the general public who consider themselves independent thinkers. This was really an example of the Emperor showing off his new clothes. Where was the child? Where was the innocent voice to cry out, "The Emperor's naked!" "There are no Weapons!" It never happened. Of course, what I'm leaving out here is that Bush and his boys were taking full advantage of the goodwill they'd been given over the course of rebuilding and recovering from New York. Our country was still on a unification binder and we like it. Who wanted to rock the boat by opposing the president. As for politicians, who wanted to lose re-election because they were "soft of terrorism," or "an America hater." Anyone against the war was automatically one of these. (Sean Hannity likes to use the phrase, "the Blame America First Crowd." I think this is a great way to describe people who are willing to look inside the U.S. first and evaluate what we did wrong, taking responsibility and not simply being blinded by "Patriotism" which is a misnomer anyway. The kind of "patriotism" these people practice is really "nationalism.")

Now, we have a situation where time has passed and the political left has found an opportunity to pounce on the shortcomings of the right, who was only doing everything they ever wanted but with full consent of the left. I never really bought into the whole "you duped us" routine, mainly because I, myself, was not duped. To anyone who was not willing to accept Bush's weak explanations for war and a sly "just trust us on this one" it seems pretty obvious that the administration just wanted a war, whether it be for revenge or oil. But, with the complete failure of the current operation to show any sign of a justifiable outcome we are now completely polarized. Did we do more harm than good? Should we get out as soon as possible? What is our mission there now, anyway? My opinions on this matter are this, respectively.

Of course we did more harm than good. The idea that we can force democracy down the throats of people is what has gotten us the reputation overseas as arrogant bullies. That and the tendency of Americans that their beer is warm in Germany and that the pizza is no good in Italy. Americanization may be great for businesses and may have gotten us all the envy of the country with the greatest wealth, but it's also given distinction of "infidel." That's a term used by Radical Islam, of course, but my loose understanding of the term can be applied to just about any anti-American sentiment. Europeans, Asians, and even Canadians consider our recent problems all a case of karma. We've overstayed our welcome, in other words, and it's time to reevaluate what makes a country great. Our presence in Iraq has only strengthened the resolve of those who were opposed to us because it is another example of why they were opposed to us in the first place. We can't overthrow any government who's leaders are unjust and oppressive. We'd never be finished. There's too many of them. Plus, many of our own political and economic allies are oppressive governments. For too long we've acted as if we are the only one's on this planet that matter and soon it's going to bite us in butt. Will Iraq ever become a bastion of freedom and democracy and peace for the Middle East. I hope so, but that's beside the point. There's no way to quantify whether it was worth it in terms of lives lost versus years of oppression and what the Iraqi government might have done. The fact of the matter is that we weren't asked to overturn the regime and we didn't have the right. As a country we should follow the golden rule.

Republican's like to call it "Cut and Run" because that emphasizes the impression that Democrats are cowards, which is, of course, bull. I think that Republicans want people to believe that Democrats would have us out of Iraq tomorrow. Some Democrats might, but my impression is that most Democrats want the goal to be to leave Iraq. That doesn't mean we leave today or next week. It means that we set a time table to truly allow the Iraqi government to lead and that we allow them to call the shots as to our presence there. Make it known that we plan to help them stabilize their government, but the ultimate goal is for us to leave it to them. Our continued presence there is only hurting the already shattered American image around the world.

The Bush Administration keeps saying that we can't leave until the job is finished. This is all I've ever heard from them. I don't think I've actually ever heard what "finished" would be. Maybe they have and I missed it, but it seems that Bush has an open ended mindset for our presence in Iraq. This makes absolutely no sense to me. We were there to find WMDs. Okay, not there. Well, no what we are really there to do is liberate the people there. Well, we got them liberated and they were happy until they realized that they were in greater danger than ever. Okay what now? No, I'm asking? What the hell are we doing now?

And I think that sums up my impression of the whole deal. That last sentence in the previous paragraph. There's no plan, there's no accountability, and there's no purpose anymore.

The cynic in me thinks that there is purpose and it is the same as it's always been. Oil. But, we haven't been able to really do anything about that yet, so Bush keeps telling us, "Stay the course." Something inside me tells me that when he says that what he's really saying is, "Don't worry. As soon as this thing blows over oil prices will go back down. Rummy and me got this one covered. Hee, hee, hee!"

New RFMR Entry

Check out my running blog called Run, Fat Man! Run!. I wrote some new stuff there.

The Future

In the past month I've posted three times. This, of course will not stand. My only complaint about the summertime without any obligations is that it breeds laziness. I have struggled my entire life with intrinsic motivation. I've always relied on the accountability of others to help me fullfill goals that I want to accomplish. This was true in school and is still true in my job. It keeps me going, for sure. But, when there is no accountability I am guilty of failure which explains my absense from blogging as of late.

I plan to correct this, as blogging has always been something I enjoyed and was kind of proud of keeping up. When I started it I half-way didn't expect to still be blogging a year and some change later. With the end of school and having been out of town every weekend since, I've found that I have a lot to write about but really don't know if I want to write about any of it. I sometimes find myself looking at what I've written and being bored myself. Perhaps I shouldn't care. Ideas have come to me but they usually end up seeming trite for some reason. But, here is a list of topics for upcoming blogs. I'm a list kind of guy. I suppose that I need them to separate what seems jumbled in my head. Something I can look at. Anyway, here it is.

1. Summer plans

2. What I've done so far this summer.

3. Screenplay

4. The war in Iraq

5. A constitutional ban on gay marriage.

6. The Astros

7. Getting in shape (this will be handled more on my other blog, "Run, Fat Man, Run!"

We won't be limited to this, but hopefully I'll get into a routine of some kind. First, I need to go to sleep before 4 a.m.

What's Happenin'?!

Wow. It's been a while. I really don't have a good explaination. I have been out of town a lot, but still. It's just been too long. Here it's summer now and I'm sure I'll have somethings to say. Afterall, without any creative outlet at work I'm bound to be writing a lot this summer. At least that's my plan.

So far this summer I've been to Dallas, Branson, Missouri and New Orleans. The Chocolate City was looking pretty good considering it suffered the worst natural disaster a major U.S. city has ever faced. It still has a lot of work to do, but as for their signiture creepiness and tourists' haven of decadence: still in tact. I'll probably write more later, but I needed to fill in this gap of silence with something. It was starting to bug me that I wasn't writing anything. Okay, that's all for now. I'm making French Onion Soup and watching the Astros Pregame. Let's hope they can turn this thing around. I blame myself. With all the travelling I haven't been spending enough time watching and sending my good vibes. Oh, don't underestimate my vibes. They are fairly powerful.

Memoirs of a Chinese Lady Speaking English

Memoirs of a Geisha

This is a beautifully filmed movie, first of all. It had to be. It wasn't going to have any cred otherwise. Sure the story is good and the acting is fine, but the problems with this film run very deep. It is a major Hollywood glamour film trying to pass itself off as cinematic wonder.

Memoirs of a Geisha tells the story of a young girl who is sold by her parents to a Geisha house when her father realizes that her mother is dying. The girl is raised at the Geisha house and trained to become one of the greatest Geisha ever. Geisha, which means "artist," is seen as a social tradition and respected in all societies. They do not consider themselves prostitutes, while a Geisha will, once they are older take bids for one man to pay to take her virginity. Further reading on Geisha reveals that this is not as correct or important to being a Geisha as the movie proclaims.

The look of the film is stunning and the visual awards it recieved were probably deserved. At times the viewer is left with visions reminiscant of the Asian beauty in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and House of Flying Daggers But, then the actors open their mouths. You see, it's not obvious and many Americans won't catch it, but there is most definitely a difference between Japanese and Chinese. I don't even think that I noticed it right away or even knew why it was that I was feeling uneasy. The fact that the movie is in English did throw me off, however. I guess after seeing enough movies in subtitles, when watching an English movie about Japanes living in Japan things seem incongruent and fake. Then add to this that many of the leads are Chinese and that they look and sound like Chinese (although I'd have never been able to tell the difference unless given the opportunity to see one trying to pass as the other)and you are left with a movie that appears to be lying to you. I've never been one to worry about authenticity in film. I believe that one should watch a movie with an open mind and accept the film you are being shown on it's own merit and not what you think the movie should be like. For instance, judge the acting and the directing and story-telling on it's own and don't say that it didn't stay true to history or that it was telling the wrong story. If I'm making a movie I'm telling the story and creating the world and can fictionalize it how I see fit. On the other hand, film is not like theatre which can more easily take liberties. Theatre audiences will accept most anything because, after all, if you are sitting in a theatre watching My Fair Lady you've already had to suspend your believe that you are in a Houston/New York/L.A. theatre and not in London, England in 1901. In a movie, if the film says the actors are in Bagdad, Iraq, you better make the audience think they are really in Bagdad, Iraq. I'm not buying into a film that says it is in Japan during World War II and yet there are Chinese actors speaking English trying to pass themselves off as Japanese. Maybe you are wondering if it's really that obvious. To an ignorant American, perhaps not. Other than it being in English, I couldn't put my finger on it, but something wasn't right about the actress. When I read that she is, indeed, Chinese I had an epiphany. By golly, they don't all look the same. There is a difference. Aside from these blunders in casting and the choice to use English instead of subtitles, the film was good. The story, while furthering an incorrect stereotype of Geisha as prostitutes, was well told and compelling and the actors do a good job. My issues with the film won't bother many people, but it was enough of a distraction for me to keep it from being something great and made it okay.

2.5 Bulls

Kyle v. 27.0

I've been teaching for three years now. I moved back to Baytown three years ago. My nephew is three years old. I've been married almost four year and I'm having my five year college reunion this year. The seniors graduating high school this year were in jr. high when I graduated college and next year at this time I'll be going to my 10 year high school reunion. In three years I'll be 30 and when I take into account what's gone on in the last three I freak out a little. Not because I'm scared of growing old, but just because I never expected to feel the rush of time hit me so fast. I've always been a little bit of an enemy of time. I've written songs and plays about time and it has always seemed to play an integral role in major events of my life. Either not having enough time or being somewhere at the right time/wrong time, etc. I imagine that this is a common element in anyone's life who has a plate full of ambitions and dreams and not enough time to get it all done. A kid asked me today if I was one of those people who made a list of things I wanted to get done before I was 30. The answer to that is yes and no. No, I've never sat down and made a physical list. If I ever have, I certainly have not adhered to the list or worried whether any of those things have been accomplished. The student who asked the question astutely commented that in making such a list people are often setting themselves up for failure. I remarked that it depended on one's own attitude about the list. Are you going to be devistated if the list isn't accomplished or is the list more of a "wish list" of things that would be nice to have accomplished by 30. I told her that in a sense I have a list because I definitely have things that I wanted to accomplish by a certain time in my life. By 30 I wanted to be married, at some point I may have thought I would have wanted kids before then, as well, but right now I'm comfortable without that. By now I would have expected to have my degree and know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. The degree part I've got down and sometimes I waver on the rest of my life part but I think I'm going in the right direction. The point is that what I wanted three years ago for 27 is not necessarily what I want now and what I want now is bound to change somewhat by the time I'm thirty. While time may fly it is certainly making layover stops in various places and the destination alters. Sometimes slightly and sometimes drastically. So, in three years, which will invaribly come as soon as I publish this post, what do I want to accomplish? The answer to that would be "whatever will make me happy." I'm happy now, or at least I can't complain. Rephrase: I shouldn't complain. My wife is happy. Maybe if nothing has changed in three years I'll be less happy, but things are on the horizon, I'm always moving and that's really what makes me happy. Thanks to all of you lovely people out there.

Now, I've got a meeting.

Sordid Pictures

I just posted photos from Sordid Lives on my Flickr site. Click right here to be taken there and bask in their wonderfulness.

What a Cute Kid! Huh?!

Changed the old profile pic. Photo courtesy of one Mary Lou Martin, aka, Mama Lou, aka ML, aka my mom. Thank you mother.

The Apocalypse...I Mean, End of School is Nigh

The End* is near and there are signs all over the place. In an effort to help my readers better understand when their own end is near I've compiled a list of occurrences and observations of my own, and you can compare these items with what's going on in your life:

(*The end of school, not the apocalypse)

You accidentally hurt yourself and you secretly hope it requires immediate, medical attention.

After three o'clock is not for anything other than what I call "Summer Practice" as in practicing for summer, not practice that happens during the summer.

High gas prices notwithstanding, weekends are spent driving far distances.

Dinging bells send you into convulsions.

Time out is for you, not them.

Much of your time is spent meditating on a certain small central Texas town and the service which they provide.

More time is spent making use of said service

Work is a misnomer

You see the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse and just laugh (Again, still talking about the end of school.)

You find yourself saying things like, "Go tell your principal what I called you. See if I care."

You watch The Office and think, "Office jobs sound like fun."

Review week is more like two.

And last but not least

You reconsider your position on capital punishment.

Fraggled Rock

Dance your cares away.
Worries for another day.
Let the music play
Down at Fraggle Rock.

Just another thinly veiled allusion to PCP brought to you by Jim Henson.

Oh, Yeah, This Goofball Makes Movies

Mission: Impossible III

While I was resistant to seeing Mission: Impossible III because I thought the last one lacked any kind of heart or interest in the least, I also dislike being the only person who hasn't seen a movie. Everytime I wait for too long to see a movie I over hear so many people talking about it that I lose any interest to see the movie. So, my brother and wife had the idea of seeing a movie and the only thing that appealed to any of us was M:I-III. I have been avoiding action movies as of late based on the the tendency for action movies to rely on a lot of stuff blowing and up and the use of cool gadgets and catch phrases to get audiences to say "Oooh!" and "Aaah!" Despite this many movie critics that I respect have been touting it's credibility and reliability on the character and motivations thereof. For instance, instead of a random love interest for Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) that may or may not be based on a previous relationship, the movie begins with the knowledge that Hunt has a fiance/wife. Okay, so now that we know that Hunt has a motivation that we can get on board with (save his new wife) now we can start to blow stuff up. Lucky, we forgo any cheesy catch phrases that might detract from any logical sane viewers enjoyment of the dialogue, and the gadgets in the movie are pretty cool. At the end of the day though, it was exactly what I expected it to be. It was flashy, expensive and at times hard to follow because of all the camera movement. The plot was based entirely on this non-discript "rabbit's foot" which we can only assume is a nuclear devise with the purpose of global domination. They never really explain because it's inconsequential. What's important is that the bad guy wants it and it's Ethan Hunt's job to make sure he doesn't get it. The bad guy in question being the amazing Phillip Seymor Hoffman. In my favorite part of the movie Ethan's character dons a disguise to make him look like the bad guy. The transformation that took place right in front of the camera was stunning enough but then the audience is given the pleasure of of watching Hoffman pull off a superb version of Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt. This alone made the ticket price worth it. Granted, I went to the Hollywood movie theater on Beltway 8 and Pasadena Blvd. where the tickets are $3.00.

All in all, most people will love this movie, and I liked it. It had been awhile since I made it out to a shoot 'em up picture and it may be awhile until my next one. I've had my fill.

3 Bulls

I Ran Again

New post over at Run, Fat Man! Run

Run over and check it out!

More Colbert Stuff (because I just can't let some things go)

This is more on the Colbert speech at the White House Corespondence Dinner by my predecessor here at Sterling.

Colbert is a comedian, which in my book makes him an artist. That he unflinchingly went for the jugular in this way automatically makes him one of the great Real Artists of our time. I only hope I can bat in his league some day.

I tend to agree with his sentiment even if I don't agree 100% with his view on Real Art, which can be read in full by clicking the link within the quote. Basically,(and I do agree with the most general aspects of this) art and artists in it's pure form shouldn't be censored or pull punches. Real art should also exsist to inspire change from a less desirable state to a more desirable state according to the artist. You can think of it as a persuasive essay, if you like. Don't forget to read my Shotgun blog, below. I have two today.

Shotgun

From the Official Shotgun Rules Website:

You must say the word "Shotgun" to stake your claim on Shotgun. This must be done clearly and loud enough so that at least one other to-be occupant of the vehicle can hear you. No variations of this word are acceptable. After you have rightfully called Shotgun, you have exclusive rights to Shotgun for that ride. However, if no one hears you call Shotgun it is still fair game for everyone.

The website goes on to list the "official" rules as to when and where one can call shotgun and under which circumstances the rules do or don't apply. This little handbook (which can be purchased online in print form) would have been very helpful growing up. As a middle child in a family of three boys my mother often devised some fairly intricate systems for determining shotgun. The most memorable being a magnet letter of each of our initials that she would rotate on the metallic dash. I think that her methods were often fair, however easily disputable. Calling shotgun came into fashion in my teenage years (at least to my knowledge). This preferrable method, ensuring that, at any time, anyone could get the covetted position, was not without problems. When it is equatable to call shotgun, how to settle disputes, when is shotgun relinquished: all of these issues are discussed on the website linked above.

The primary place this would have been helpful would have been in high school. Luckily I was always the driver, as I had my own car and my two best friends, Eric and Brad, did not. The three of us would often travel places together and the position of shotgun, while officially determined by calling shotgun, was constantly in dispute and would result in Brad and Eric participating in a multitude of red-faced pushing matches. I can't deny that I usually enjoyed watching the two equally matched guys come close to blowing and o-ring over who sat in the front we were often late to things because of it. This website could have been very useful. Someday when I have kids I highly intend to get the glovebox version of the rules and abide by them. I encourage everyone else to do the same, thus spreading the universality of these rules and making car riding safe again. Well, as safe as you can be with a teenager behind the wheel of a car.

Baseball vs. American Idol

Last night the American Idol contestants spent 28 minutes standing or sitting on a stage in front of a few hundred people, TV cameras, pseudo celebrity judges, and through TV, a few million people. This thirty minute episode of American Idol makes these poor saps sit through several commercial breaks worth of Ryan "The Girl-Boy" Seacrest teasing with "This week the contestant going home will be....announced after the break." Ahhh! You fooled us! As if we really thought you were going to blow it in the first 10 minutes of the show when you so clearly have to fill another 20 minutes worth of stale, faux entertainment. Don't get me wrong. I get pulled into the whole thing as much as your average person. I watch the beginning of the season so that I can laugh at the idiots who think they can sing and then I pay attention at the end and make my predictions. But, this extra episode is so ridiculously pointless that the sheer inane nature of it makes it unwatchable for me. So, last night, as my wife is asking me to spend time with her, I say, "Amanda, I love you. I would love to spend all my time with you. Please come join me as I watch the Astros play the Cardinals in their first meeting since the NLCS last year." To which my lovely wife replies, "But I want to see who gets kicked off this week." See, here's the problem. To forgo an Astros game to watch some pointless thirty minutes of corporate shlock, existing soley to hauk whatever Ford model the American Idol contestants are climbing out of this week while singing some god-awful pop song would be detrimental to my sanity. I can't imagine a universe where this would be a reasonable move.

BTW, the Astros beat the Cards, 5-4. I actually enjoy watching Pujols crank long balls as long as it doesn't produce wins. It's very satisfying.

"Truthiness!"

Could Stephen Colbert be the best thing that ever happened to America? At least the American press? It must have been really hard to come up with a show and persona that lives up to his "The Daily Show" predasessor. While I generally don't enjoy "The Colbert Report" as much as "The Daily Show", these videos may prove that no one, not even Stewart himself has a brass set like this man. Watch the whole thing. You'll be glad you did. And if you're not then you're unAmerican.

Pajiba

Those of you who don't know, my old college friend Daniel Carlson writes movie reviews for a website called Pajiba (Don't ask what it means. I don't even think they know.) Anyway, Dustin Rowles, another reviewer for the site, had an interesting opinion on American Dreamz, one of the movies I reviewed yesterday. I tended to agree with what he said, even though I found him (and usually find him) overly critical. Check it out.

Movie Reviews

These are some recent movie I've seen and my opinions of them.

American Dreamz,

As I was leaving the movie theater I heard a lady say, "We have to see another one to make up for this. This was the most ridiculous thing I ever saw!" I'm assuming that these women were on a "girl date" and they had seen the previews for American Dreamz thinking it was going to be a cute comedy poking fun at the president and American Idol. While it does do as advertised, it is much less cutsy than the trailers make it seem. What the comercials fail to imply is that the movie is dark and satirical. It reminded me a lot of Drop Dead Gorgeous in that the silliness and disturbing humor came as a surprise to me. It also kind of reminded me of Mars Attacks in the way that politics and the entertainment business come together to address a threat from a foreign entity.

Mandy Moore plays a contestant in the American Dreamz contest, an obvious knockoff of American Idol. Moore is in a good position to become the darling of dark comedy after American Dreamz and Saved from a few years back. Her performance in Dreamz as the souless teen queen hopeful who has to fain cute and bubbly for the camera is a very satisfying jab at her former self. Almost as much as her character in Saved is a self aware portrayal of the way that many people probably depicted her in her early years. Hugh Grant and the rest of the cast pull in decent performances. I'm convinced that Well-Meaning Stupid Guy is the only type of role Chris Klein is qualified to play. A few unbelievable plot points aside (doors haven't had keyholes that can be peered through since the turn of the century) American Dreamz is a pretty good yarn and if you like the ridiculous, like I do, you might enjoy it. However, if you want to see a crappy, cute movie, go watch something else.

3 bulls out of 5

The Squid and the Whale

This is the kind of movie that I'd like to own. The very fact that Wes Anderson is a producer and the writer/director is Noah Baumbach, co-writer of Anderson's A Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou seals that distinction for me alone. But, what this really means is that The Squid and the Whale is a movie that requires multiple viewings. I didn't quite "get it" the first time around. I understood the plot, the story arch, the character motivations, and all of that. That's not what I mean. I'm not even really sure what I mean, actually.

Have you ever seen a movie and you liked it, but you don't really know why? Have you ever left the theatre (or in this case the DVD) with a feeling of unsatisfaction. Not because the movie was bad but, beyond plot and character and motivation, you feel like you're missing something. That's how I felt with this movie. As much as I enjoyed the experience I needed more. I think that might frustrate some people, but I love it. Some people watch movies over and over again like The Lion King or Spiderman 2 or Steal Magnolias. I don't understand that. It's straightforward. These movies are good and fun and enjoyable, but once you've seen it, you've seen it. Story over, there's nothing more there that you are missing. To me, the best movies are like the best plays and the best books. Chalk full of content that couldn't possibly be explored in one viewing. Everytime I watch The Godfather II I discover something new to appreaciate about it. The same goes for a movie like Rushmore or Fargo or just about anything by Charlie Kaufman. The Squid and the Whale did that for me as well, and I can't wait to watch it again.

5 out of 5 bulls

Mrs. Henderson Presents

Historical films aren't my favorite genre of movie, but when it's done as well as Mrs. Henderson Presents they can be some of the most enjoyable movie watching experieces. I really appreciate when filmakers can take history and find the comedic spin that it put on a very dreary time. Some of the best examples of this come out of the World War 2 era. A League of Their Own and Life is Beautiful are notable examples of a film portraying, not only how the war affected everyday funny people that we forget lived during hard times as well, but how they coped with the war and helped others cope with it. These other movies probably recieved much more notoriety than Mrs. Henderson Presents, which is a shame, because I think this movie is equally as good and important.

Judy Dench and Bob Hoskins both turn out beautiful performances as the owner and manager, respectively, of a burlesque style review house in the West End of London during the end of World War 2 while the Germans were bombing the city on a daily basis. They are the first in England to do fully nude actors on stage and are met with criticism by the stuffy aristocrats of England, but with enthusiasm by the businessmen and soldiers. When defending the need for nudes in this time of struggle Dench gives one of the most convincing and surprisingly moving speaches on the subject I've ever heard. It may have been the only moving speech on nudes I'd ever heard.

4 bulls out of 5

Can I Get a Grip-ness?!

To the Good People at Tresme (ooh, la, la. Yeah, them):

Your huge bottle of shampoo is heavy and without any rubber grips. It's sleak aerodynamic design may be inexpensive to produce or perhaps it is a matter of style, but my toes request that you find some manner in which to better hold on to your product container while in a wet, slippery, soapy environment. An appeal has been made to my wife to buy different, easier to handle brands of shampoo, but she likes yours, for some reason. Sure I could go get my own, but, this notwithstanding, I believe that this is a reasonable request. If the BIC Company can put rubber grips on their pens I think that you can follow suit with an item that actually needs one.

Many thanks,
Kyle "Tender Toes" Martin