What I want you to know. Which is everything.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Pursuit of Happiness

It was a good movie. It inspired the title, and to a lesser extent the rant, itself. But the rant isn't about the Will Smith flick. It's about me.

Of course, no one is reading this blog anymore. And who can blame you? I don't read yours anymore and it's been almost a month since I've posted anything. The truth is that I've lost much of my previous interest in telling the world all about my life and what I think about various things, etc. I haven't abandoned my desire for attention, however, so I find myself conflicted. I also find myself without the time or the energy most of the time to write much about myself. I guess that's why lately if I have taken the time to blog it's been pretty superficial. Either that or it's an apology/explaination for the lack of writing. I realize that this means more to me than to the 3-4 people who actually read this, but the fact remains that I like to write. I'd like to say that I am committed to writing more often and about a plethora of important issues. I'm afraid, however that I just can't do that. Call me lazy, or perhaps I finally have my priorities straight, for once in my life, but when I spend the day teaching kids and after school teaching kids and the evenings directing and my time off with my wife, the old blogging has to take a back seat. And, those days during summer vacation when I would spend the entire day in my pajamas playing guitar, biking, cooking food and watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, you could make the arguement that I had the time to blog then. However, you forget that I was doing those things in leu of even MORE important things I should have been doing. See, if I'd had any discipline on days like that, it would have manifest itself in something actually worthwhile. What's sad, however, is that this used to be the thing I did so that I could put off other things. You know something has crossed over from being faddish obsession de jour to committed passtime/hobby, when for no rational reason you feel compelled to continue doing something that takes effort, and yet will still garner no substantial, tangeble gain. But, I still enjoy it, and I still believe it is good for me. I still believe that somewhere, someday, someone is going stumble onto this little blog and decide to give me a pilot. It's my own little "pursuit."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Someone's going to stumble across my blog too, one day. That's when I'll get the book deal.

-Rozie

sarahdawn said...

I can't give you a pilot, but I do enjoy your rants/ramblings and on occaision your more substantial thoughts. Besides, after your telling of the infamous broken window incident I'm a lifer on your blog. Always waiting to see if there will be another fabulous tale told with your amazing wit.

Anonymous said...

someday someone will stumble across my blog

and arrest me

Keep it up K=Mart

English

Jason said...

I just wrote a great comment about the nature of blogging and its metamorphosis into an obligation for some, but the new blogger just lost it. Long story short, blogging's there when you want it and there when you don't. When you want it again, it will be there for you like you never left. That's the perspective I'm taking with my blog this time.

Lyndsey said...

Whereas my lack of blogging has been because a lighting designer & producer on my last show stumbled upon mine - stupid google! - and I've got a bad case of the "did I potentially say something about a show or person on a show that could be construed as ugly and that I'll be completely totally black listed and never work again" paranoia. I'll send them over to YOURS and see if we can't get that pilot picked up - and lit.

Mary Lou said...

Okay I have to try this again. I couldn't seem to log in here on this comment page.
but I basically just said to keep writing. But I totally understand the dry spells in writing.