What I want you to know. Which is everything.

Friday, May 27, 2005

"There ain't sunshine..."

School is out and I am free of job type responsibilities for awhile. I love the summer. I am a summer kind of person. Even when I wasn't a teacher and I had to work during the summer I have enjoyed myself because there is something about the heat and the air of fun and freedom. It's like this is what the earth was building up to. Winter is like pre-production, Spring is the rehearsal period, and Summer is the performance. The performance is always the most fun. Then, of course comes the strike, fall.

I have lived my life in the theatre so those who know me proabably think this is an appropriate thing for me to talk about. So, I'm here, the first day of work freedom and my wife is already making use of her summer. Her friends from work and she are taking a trip to a lakehouse up in Wimberly owned by one of their parents. If weather permits she will chill by the lake and float down the river and drink Margaritas and have lots of fun. And I'm really happy for her. She needs this stress reliever. Her job of taking care of the education of 7 and 8 year olds is much harder than mine. I realize this. I tell her all the time, too. I make no quarrel with the arguement that she works harder than I do, because she does.

But I miss her. I don't know why because I've been doing about the same thing that I would any other day if she were here. I'm reading blogs, and writing and recording music and doing all the things that I like to do alone, but she's not here. Usually, I would be sporatically interupted by Amanda, telling me to come and see something cute the cat is doing. I begrudgingly get up and enter the living room to find our cat, Pumpkin, doing something absolutely precious that I've seen it do a million times before. "That's nice." I say and head back into the computer room. Or, Wednesday as Amanda was watching the American Idol Finale and she yells back at me, "Kyle, did you hear that?" I yell back, "Yeah!" I always kind of considered these things annoyances because it took me away from my work. My plays and my music and whatever else I might be into that month. But I miss it. She's not gone from me very often, but when she is, I miss her. I'm glad she's gone this weekend because I'm going to be away all day Saturday, with my class and then graduation, but tonight, when I have nothing to do, and no one to do anything with, I realize how much I love her and can't wait until she's back home. I want her to come into the computer room and say, "Kyle, you've been in here too long. You need to spend some time with me." To which I'll say, "In a minute, let me finish this thought on this blog." Well now, I have nothing to finish for, except perhaps myself, but that never really motivated me in the past, so why should it now. To keep going is easier than finishing because finishing will mean that I am again without Amanda and her company. This entry has brought her to the forefront of my mind and therefore I feel like I'm with her again.

Okay, I'm being over-dramatic. But, I do miss her when she's gone. She doesn't think I do. She thinks I'm the strong one, the one who doesn't need her, but she's wrong. I do. That's why I wrote a song or two about it. She doesn't read my blogs, so I can say anything on here without fear of embarassing her. (You can't be embarrassed if you don't know what's going on, right?)

In two months we will be married 3 years. I know that's not that long, but I pray that God will strengthen our marriage for many more years. I hear things can get really tough around the time kids come and other milestones like that. I'm just enjoying every minute I've got her, and just her. She'll be back on Sunday. I can't wait.


Posted by: bullmartin.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Iraq is Swinging, Baby!

Love this. Thanks to my brother Jason for the find. I hope everyone enjoys. Just a few more days until freedom, sweet freedom.

Friday, May 20, 2005

"May the Critics be with you...."

I just got back from seeing the newest addition to the Star Wars franchise. It lived up to every expectation that I had for the movie, and then some. When seeing a movie I try to not have any expectations and just try to enjoy it. I find that, without any preconcieved notions about what the movie should be I am much more likely to enjoy it. After all, you can't really predict a movie based on the trailer alone. So often the studios want to market a film one way and it's really something completely different. The Village for instance, by M. Night Shamalamala.... was supposedly a horror flick set in the 1800s or so. This was not the case at all, and I think it got underappreciated for this, by many people.

But, anyway, lately, in my spare time I had been reading up on the whole Star Wars world on the Star Wars Wiki. I knew that there was more out there than just the movies. My friend and college roomate Ryan English helped me realize this in that he's probably read all of the books and material considered part of the expanded universe. He could talk about Senator Palpatine and the Sith and Darth Sidious before these words had ever been uttered in a movie. But, before I really started checking it out for myself, I didn't realize just how extensive the expanded universe of Lucas's Story about Jedis and the Galactic Republic really was.

I kind of got hooked. Don't get me wrong. I was a fan before. One Saturday when I was in high school the SciFi Channel was running a Star Wars marathon and I sat through all three movies. It took from about the time I woke that day (noonish) well into the early evening (7 or 8). At the time this seemed like a big deal since I'd probably never sat through three movies in a row before. Also, account for commercials, which I would never stand for now. At the end of this time I tried to convince myself that I had the force and I began trying to move objects with my mind. If you've never tried this, first you have to convince yourself that it's possible if you could only tap into that part of your mind that allows you to consentrate fully, totally, and pointedly. I believed this. Needless to say, nothing budged. If only I could REALLY consentrate. At this time, I knew nothing of midi-clorians or having to be born with that special "something." I am hurt that I am not strong in the force, but, nevertheless, it explains my inability to sent my cat flying across the room with my mind. I'll have to settle for the good old fashion way.

As for how this movie stands up I think it can really only be compared to the other Star Wars flicks, since they tend to have a life of their own beyond normal movie success patterns. First of all, I never thought that the original three movies were sacred like many do. They pull us into the world and the whole drama to be sure, but the acting, the dialogue, and some of the comic relief elements are really lacking when they stand up to other movies. But, like I said, you can't really compare Star Wars to other movies even in the action or sci-fi genre. The first two prequels, particularly Episode I were in my opinion more in sync with what the original movie was all about. They were pretty hokey, poorly acted and, frankly, made for kids. Return of the Jedi had a lot of this as well, but I think episodes I, II, and IV are the worst. Then there is Empire Strikes Back. For a long time ROTJ was my favorite because I like the whole thing in the woods with the Ewoks. But as a more mature viewer I am much more partial to Empire, with it's darker story and harsh realizations by Luke among other things. Revenge of the Sith struck me in the same way. It is, as reported by everyone I've spoken to, much darker than the first two, as it should be. It deals with heavy issues like good and evil, but it blurs the line quite a bit. Sometimes you even start to think, "the so-called 'dark-side' sound like a reasonable option." I guess it's kind of like communism. Won't work, but it looks good on paper. Anyway, you can really identify with Anakin, who is of course now Darth Vader. When the first movie was seen in 1977 everyone just thought, "Darth Vader, bad guy, end of story." Well it's not. You can really see how someone can be seduced, honestly, even when they really want to search for what is righteous. And the transformation is definitely pretty gruesome. I have already written a lot here, and I'm not close to being finished. I suppose I better stop or this will be way too long. Probably already is...

Long story short, Revenge of the Sith and Empire are currently in a tie for my favorite in the six. Some people, I think, are purest and therefore aren't going to except all this CGI junk, even if the story is on point, as it is here. But this is George Lucas's baby and he wanted it done the way he wanted it done. I can't fault him for wanting it to appear the way it does in his head. I'm sure the newer movies are closer to that realization than the original trilogy was. Besides, the appeal was never about the effects in the first place. That's all fun, but the awe wears off and you must be left with a compelling story. People certainly didn't love the original 1977 movie because of Mark Hammil's acting, or the cheesy dialogue. It's the story, the relationships, and the increadible world that Lucas created, all from scratch.

I'm just glad he got some help from Tom Stoppard on this one. Uncredited, I'm told.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Dave, peace, and 26

"If we lived by an eye for an eye, all we'd be left with is a room full of blind men."

I couldn't find the source of this, but I think Gandhi said it. Dave Matthews quotes it in DMB's new album. Again I can't remember what song it's on. I could probably figure it all out if I felt like going out to my car to get the CD sleeve, but I'm in my underwear and about to go to sleep. Anyway, I really like and believe in that saying. BTW, Stand Up is really good. Very different, but I like it.

I turn 26 tomorrow so if you want to sing me "Happy Birthday" you may do so here. Can the "Happy Birthday" estate people sue for copywright infringement if you sing it over a blog?

Here's another Gandhi quote that I reallly like:

Gandhi was once asked what he thought about western civilization. His
response was: "I think it would be a good idea."

**NOTE** When I started this post I was 25, but during it I turned 26.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Are Styx the new Beatles?

Recently, on another guy's blog there was a discuss about the band Styx and how they are coming out with a new cover of Beatle's songs. The original post is not overtly anti or pro either band. If anything it seemed to me the author was kind of making fun of the fact that Styx would do something like this since they are so obviously out of the loop. But then all of the responses (or at least the majority) seemed to be bashing the Beatles and praising Styx. I realized that the musical standards by which my generation who were teenagers in the 90s cut our musical teeth were all but dead. This is a sad realization. I knew that there were dark times in the late 90s with the return of bubble-gum and pop-rock, along with the psuedo-hard-coreness of mindless deep rock in the form of bands like Linkin Park and Stained, among others. But I always hoped that the pendulum would swing back and we would be engulfed in true meaningful music that was prevailent in the 90s and 60s. In some ways we are reverting back. For instance, we are now embracing the coolness of the 80s with kids wearing Members Only jackets to school and sporting Madonnaesque mismatching garb. This doesn't bother me, except that it seems to be accompanying the Reaganist political and social conservatism of the same generation. We are very much about "me" once again. I suppose that I am wishing for the good ole days too soon and that it will come in time. But more than anything I want progression. Sure I was an STP and Smashing Pumpkins fan. I wore torn denim and flannel and made sure that nothing in my wardrobe was too bright or colorful. I did that. But, I don't want that back. Please, no. I just want somthing meaningful. I want people to be socially conscious and care about things like poverty and social change. People love to hate politics, it seems, but I hate to love politics. I mean that I wish I didn't find myself being pulled into caring so much or to feeling so strongly one way or another, but I do, and I can get pretty passionate about it all, if I allow myself. And music played a major part of this for me. I suppose I'm being unfair, and that there is more socially consciousness out there than I'm letting on. Most conservatives would probably raise their eyebrows and shout, "What are you talking about? These liberal artist types are everywhere!" And to some degree they're right. But what is out there just seems so hollow. It isn't making the same kind of impact that it made in me some time ago. The measure I think can be said lies somewhat with teens and college students. I just don't see that the students that I teach are very concerned with anything outside their own bubble. During the election of 2004 the younger ones had the loudest voice spouting off sound bites that came straight from their parents. This is, I suppose, to be expected of such young people. But the seniors, the ones who vote, the ones who can make a difference seem completely uninterested and apathetic. Perhaps I have the wrong seniors. Perhaps the classes that I teach are not the ones where these students are going to expound their views and passions. I teach primarily lower level courses in theatre. So this could have something or everything to do with it. I just remember having conversations with friends about the differences in Clinton and Dole, and why there is no way we were voting for Dole (I missed being able to vote in that election by a few months). When I asked the seniors in my classes what their opinoins were on the subject, they generally didn't have one. I guess they didn't feel they had to discuss the issue unless it was government class.

I tend to wonder. As the me generation's college students' (the Alex Keatons) children are graduating high school is there something to say for the idea that these conservatively influenced children are the pendulum that I'm talking about and it won't be until my generation's kid's are of upper-adolesent and college age that social conscience and justice will once again take the place of money obsession and looking out for number one? Or am I way off, and I'm just looking at things through my own very tainted glass, and really there isn't any difference between mine and other's generations. It seems we are all the same on many levels.

But, come on. Styx were hacks compared to the Beatles.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


I saw on the The Daily Show that blogging has become so widespread as a new means of communication and news that the major newsproviders such as CNN and MSNBC have begun doing segments where they read people's blogs and discuss what these random people have to say. Also the commentators themselves, such as Chris Matthewsand that Scarborough guy, have blogs that they keep regarding the news they are covering on TV. The Daily Show of course made fun of the fact that these news channels are running scared because the Blogouspere is a much more reliable and objective place to get real opinions and news on issues. They poked fun at the fact that the Matthews' and Scarborough's of the world are simply blogging the exact same point that they make on the air. If you don't watch John Stewart, he's not a big fan of the pundits and news spinners. He went on Crossfire and basically told Tucker Carlson that he was doing an injustice to American people by having a show like Crossfire.

As much as I enjoy these slams on the media, I took the segment as a time to re-evaluate my own blog. Often I have nothing to write about and therefore will go on about absolutely nothing or what's gone on that day. Things that aren't going to really make much difference to anyone else but me and maybe some people who know me. Should this blog be about more. When I first started the blog it was simply to write my thoughts on issues, and it didn't really matter to me whether anyone liked reading it or not. I thought that some would, and based on the number of hit that my blog gets, I'm guessing that some people do. Now that I've been at it for awhile I am more inclined however to write about important things that people will actually want to read whether they gave birth to me or not. (I appreciate the support, Mom.)

I had an idea a few weeks ago to make a few extra bucks. And I do mean few. I have a friend who worked for the local newspaper and he told me that they might like to have an arts column that reviewed arts in the area. There is currently no one who does that for this small paper. I thought that maybe about once a week I could get a column and write about the arts. I'll try to start doing that on my own here so that I can have something to actually write about instead of just blabbing on about silliness.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Haikus 2:

I found out that in addition to this being Mother's Day weekend, yesterday (5/7) was also national haiku day. If you've been with us since the beginning here at Blog de Kyle you know my affinity for the haiku. So I thought it only appropriate that there be a second installment. And here we go...

Mothers are so great
That's why they get their own day
With flowers galore

Abilene is rad
It's where I went to college
My wife grew up here

Three weeks left of school
The kids are ready to go
I feel like a kid

I pay all my bills
I'm up at the crack of dawn
Responsible me

Paying attention
My mind drifts to other things
I've got A.D.D.

Last one...

Here at the in-laws
Haikus are thought to be wierd
I get made fun of

Happy Mother's day all you muthuz!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Mace Windu Steals the Statistics Experiment!**

I got busted today by an Assistant Principal allowing my students to play hacky sack in the adjoining set shop after they'd finished their work. He was there to follow up an email I'd sent him. The AP just took up their hack and said nothing to me about it. The fact that he said nothing to me pissed me off more than anything. He acted as if I just had no clue what was going on, and was there to save the day. If he would have asked I would have said, "I had no idea what was going on." all innocent like. No, but really, I had already told the kids that if an admin person walked in whilst in mid hack they were to say it was statistics experiment.

So what's the big deal? These are good kids, have been emmensely helpful all year long in the shop, finished their work and were hacking around until the bell, in a room adjoining mine where they were seen, but not in the way. Big crime, right? Just like wearing torn jeans, a hat, earings, or colored hair. Give me a freakin' break!

Cody was right. I'm a sucky teacher. Summer here I come!

**the AP who ravaged my classroom looks earily like Sam Jackson's character in the newer Star Wars movies. Actually, when I was in high school we said he looked like a tall Yoda. Picture if these two characters mated.

Me? Fickle?

Yes, I changed the template again. I got tired of looking at that bright screen!

Monday, May 02, 2005

The Sofa

Had a good weekend. The Astros lost the night I was there but were able to win the series againts the Cubs over the next two days. Lamb's grand slam on Sunday made me yell so loud in my truck on my way to pick up Amanda, I hurt my voice. I predicted that happening, too. I said, "Mike Lamb will hit the ball over the fence." I really did.


I posted some pictures from the production of The Sofa on my website. It closed this weekend. I was very happy with the performances. John and Clay were ideal choices. Here is the Sofa Page. Enjoy.