What I want you to know. Which is everything.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Walken Into a Mess

The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.


This brilliantly funny monologue from the movie Pulp Fiction was delivered deadpan with all the sincerity in the world by, one of the finest and most loved character actors of all time. He has frightened us in more than one movie, made us cry in a couple more and made us laugh plenty of times. A man known for his evil, nasty characters, those close to Walken know him as a very gentle, friendly man with a brilliant mind and thirst for life.

I believe that it is this attitude and reputation as a well liked, respected human being aside from his acting abilities that has lead to the emergence of Walken 2008, Christopher Walken's bid for the Presidency.

When it comes to actors turn politicians, or actors turn anything, for that matter, I often have a hard time accepting them as sincere and not just trying to bring more attention onto themselves. After all, actors have this inherent desire to be loved and admired and be in the spotlight and politics garner that type of attention in a very similar way as acting does. You would think that as an actor myself I would be more willing to give actors the benefit, but I think it just means that I have even more reason to be skeptical.

But, Walken is different. He's not just any celebrity, trying to hog the headlines. On the contrary, Walken is of the rare breed that shuns the spotlight, but craves the joy and challenge of a heady, complex character study. Walken is an artist, not a celebrity. So, when I saw this site I decided to give Mr. Walken a chance.

It turns out that the platform claims could have come directly from my lips if I had ever been able to verbalize the feelings I had on the issues plaguing our country right now. He seemed quite moderately liberal and gave good well thought out reasoning following each stance. I thought that I may have my candidate for the next presidential election, an election that is sure to produce some interesting, albeit frighteningly inept and snarky candidates. I've not been looking forward to the new crop of political saviors and so Walken seemed like a breath of fresh air.

Unfortunately, as you've probably already figured out, it's all a hoax.

But, man, our own liberal version of a well liked celebrity. Someone who people will really get behind and support, not for all the good reasons, but for the superficial ones, too. You know, the kind that really win elections. Bill Clinton, minus the sex scandals, Al Gore plus Dubyas strange likability. (Which would mean that I wouldn't like him, which would be okay if he was as qualified to lead the country as Gore was. The point is the general population would like him and so he'd win.)

I'm looking for a cross between Jimmy Carter's heart, Al Gore's brain, George W. Bush's balls, and Clinton's sheer animal magnetism. And throw some of that Reagan charm in there for good measure and you've got yourself a president to lead us into the millennium, baby!

10 comments:

Mojotek said...

I loved that scene in Pulp Fiction... and the look on the kids face the whole time he was giving his speech was priceless.

JD Tatum said...

Hmmmm.... this pretty much goes along with my line of thinking in the car this morning. Politics is nothing more than marketing.

The Chik-fil-A Cows for President in 2008!

By the by, Senator Barack Obama puts out a weekly podcast which is quite enjoyable to listen to.

MDH said...

"The Continental" has got to be the best recurring role by a host on SNL EVER right? Name a better one I defy you.

"I need more cowbell!"

Blast From the Past is one of my favorite Walken roles. Here's a paraphrase of some dialouge that almost makes me teary every time I see it:

Walken (the father): "But I don't understand."

Fraser(the son): "And I'm asking you to trust me without understanding."

Walken: "Well in that case...of course."

Deana Nall said...

Walken does have one potential scandal. I've been suspicious of him ever since the whole Natalie Wood thing...

Love "Blast from the Past," though!

Kyle said...

I have a friend who is convinced that he killed Natalie Wood. I personally just think that she fell, drunk, off the side of the boat and hit her head or maybe didn't hit her head, but just fell over.

Paige Robins said...

Wow, now that would have been cool. Anyone that can play a woman-"perfecting" robot (The Stepford Wives) would make a great president! J/K. But seriously, I can't believe we still have 3 more years of Bush. I sure hope we get someone like you were talking about in 2008!

ML said...

How about Jesus? He'd be great. Wouldn't he? Who knows?? 2008 might be the year to end all years. Truely.

Said with my tongue placed firmly in my cheek. There is NOT a perfect candidate for president. He/she will always disappoint the public. Even when everyone seems to love the president when elected, soon find out he is only human and not "super-human".

I try to back whoever is in office. Yes, even George W. I know he has made some bone-headed mistakes and name a perfect candidate that hasn't. You can't because it would only be your opinion and opinons are not facts.

Yes, Jesus would be my candiate for president, but he already has the title of King. Even when he was among us on earth He of all people was hated so much that he wasn't tarred and feathered, he was crucified. Now that, my friends, is geniune dislike for a person.

So what makes anyone think there is a perfect presidential candidate out there when the most perfect One ever was literally crucified?

Sorry, I don't like politics. And actors as politics, I dislike even more.

sarahdawn said...

Well said ML!!!

Deana Nall said...

Walken gave one story to the police and a significantly different story to Playboy magazine a few months later. That's why I'm suspicious. Guess we'll never know. Did you know she had a life-long fear of water and drowning?

MDH said...

Jesus would never be elected. First he wasn't born in America. There would be LOTS of questions about his birth. Miracles he performed would be called witchcraft, or voodoo, or at the least frauds. Add in his angry outburst that time with the money changers...NO chance.