What I want you to know. Which is everything.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Kyle v. 27.0


I've been teaching for three years now. I moved back to Baytown three years ago. My nephew is three years old. I've been married almost four year and I'm having my five year college reunion this year. The seniors graduating high school this year were in jr. high when I graduated college and next year at this time I'll be going to my 10 year high school reunion. In three years I'll be 30 and when I take into account what's gone on in the last three I freak out a little. Not because I'm scared of growing old, but just because I never expected to feel the rush of time hit me so fast. I've always been a little bit of an enemy of time. I've written songs and plays about time and it has always seemed to play an integral role in major events of my life. Either not having enough time or being somewhere at the right time/wrong time, etc. I imagine that this is a common element in anyone's life who has a plate full of ambitions and dreams and not enough time to get it all done. A kid asked me today if I was one of those people who made a list of things I wanted to get done before I was 30. The answer to that is yes and no. No, I've never sat down and made a physical list. If I ever have, I certainly have not adhered to the list or worried whether any of those things have been accomplished. The student who asked the question astutely commented that in making such a list people are often setting themselves up for failure. I remarked that it depended on one's own attitude about the list. Are you going to be devistated if the list isn't accomplished or is the list more of a "wish list" of things that would be nice to have accomplished by 30. I told her that in a sense I have a list because I definitely have things that I wanted to accomplish by a certain time in my life. By 30 I wanted to be married, at some point I may have thought I would have wanted kids before then, as well, but right now I'm comfortable without that. By now I would have expected to have my degree and know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. The degree part I've got down and sometimes I waver on the rest of my life part but I think I'm going in the right direction. The point is that what I wanted three years ago for 27 is not necessarily what I want now and what I want now is bound to change somewhat by the time I'm thirty. While time may fly it is certainly making layover stops in various places and the destination alters. Sometimes slightly and sometimes drastically. So, in three years, which will invaribly come as soon as I publish this post, what do I want to accomplish? The answer to that would be "whatever will make me happy." I'm happy now, or at least I can't complain. Rephrase: I shouldn't complain. My wife is happy. Maybe if nothing has changed in three years I'll be less happy, but things are on the horizon, I'm always moving and that's really what makes me happy. Thanks to all of you lovely people out there.

Now, I've got a meeting.

4 comments:

ML said...

I had only one real goal that I remember back when I was in my twenties. I wanted to have all my children by the time I was 30. I wasn't having anymore babies after 30. I was 29 when I had my Ryan. So I met my goal. I never had any wish to skydive or climb the highest mountain. Too scary for me. I guess I wasn't really a goal setter. I now just want to make it through this life without getting cancer. Morbid isn't it? But I do.

Chad said...

I was with a group of junior high students a couple of weeks ago and someone thought I was their dad. Truth is, I am not old enough to be their dad and it not be scandalous.

Jason said...

I'll be 30 in a 9 1/2 months. I can honestly say that I've accomplished almost everything I set out to do by 30. The only thing I won't have that I thought I would is my LMFT license, but I'll have that before I turn 31.

I haven't done everything in life that I want to do, though, but there's still plenty of time for everything else. While I don't wish myself to get older, I'm not desparately trying to hold on to my youth either (i.e. no botox or hair dye for me ever).

Chad said...

I used to think about all the stuff I want to do, but there was something about being in ministry between the ages of 30-33 where I began to relate to Jesus a little better knowing that these were his years of ministry on earth. I realized that anything after 33 is just extra.

My view of eternity has changed too. The more I realize the reality of heaven the less concerned I am about the number of my days here.