What I want you to know. Which is everything.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I detest the smell of Old Spice. It makes me sick. For years I've worn Old Spice High Endurance Fresh Scent deoderant, but my wife, bless her, accidentally bought the Original Scent awhile back. For about 6 or 7 months time it would sit in my cabinet, only seeing the light if I had run out of the good stuff. The days that I smelled like an old prospector were often wrought with headaches and nausea.
This went on for a while until recently I ran out of deoderant again and had to wear the original scent. I decided that this had gone on too long. I was so sick of my backup being the Old Spice smell that I decided it was time to get rid of this stick of deoderant. But, my OCD kicked in and I became incapable of throwing something away that is bought and paid for and perfectly good (if it's your bag). I decided that I had to use the stick completely up and then, and only then could I really go back to my beloved "Fresh" scent.
I've been thinking of this experiement as a sort of Lent. I'm giving up the smell of a young strapping young man for that of a 75 year old. Don't underestimate the significance of this sacrifice. While under the influence of Old Spice Smell (OSS)I have experience the above mentioned symptoms along with fatigue, confusion, diaharia, sorness, and liver spots. OSS is wrecking havoc on my immune system. Last week I wrote my congressman. I mean, this is getting serious. But I am determined to rid my cabinet of this tumor without resorting to wastefullness.
The mid morning sickness has stopped, but I've been tired and cranky and complain about the post office a lot. I kind of think I can feel my blatter shrinking and my libido is disapearing. I feel like Morgan Spurlock. Damn. I should have cashed in on this experiment.